Capstone: Reflection

         Whenever I shadowed my mentor doing an evaluation on a patient or watched a VA video, he always asked me questions like "Why do you think they feel that way", "Why might someone who experiences chronic pain feel depressed"? While I was writing my research paper my research paper, I had to pull information from various sources and put them all together in order to create my argument. These were times when I had to use a lot of critical thinking skills during my project. Communication was key for my mentor and I because we always had to figure out when we were able to meet and for how long. We had to tell each other when we were able to meet and when were unable to meet because we both had busy schedules. In addition to that, there were only so many patients to observe and VA videos to watch. Sometimes I would spend a whole hour just asking my mentor questions or learning about theories. As for collaboration, my mentor actually helped me with my research paper. In the process of writing the final draft he was able to give me advice and feedback on what I wrote. He also told me about some sources that would be helpful to my paper.
           I can honestly say that I gained so much from this Capstone experience. I was able to learn things about myself, people around me and my surroundings, and the psychology field. For myself, I learned that I really do want to be a psychologist in the future. I know that it will take a lot of money and time, but I am determined to put in all the work. I did realize that I do not want to work with the same type of patients my mentor has worked with. I do know that I want to work with either those with mental disabilities, the insane, or criminals. I took a lot out of this experience when it comes to what I gained socially. Two main ideas stuck out to me. First of all, people would do less things that they would regret if they were more aware. If they were more aware, it would be easier to catch themselves if they are about to do something stupid. The second and most important less on I took out of this was you really can't judge a book by its cover. It may sound cliche, but it's really true. Everyone has their own story and they have their own reasons for being the way they are. We don't like it when people judge us, but we are so quick to pass judgements. As for the psychology field, I learned a lot about Acceptance Commitment Therapy, different types of psychological theories, and the how much school and hard work I'll need to get where I want to be in my career.
            I faced two challenges. My mentor and I had conflicting schedules. When we were able to meet, it would only be once a week for an hour or two because he had patients that were too confidential for me to see. To get around this, we tried our best to manage our time wisely and I tried my best to not procrastinate.

Capstone: Day 25

       For my last hour, my mentor gave me an article to read that talked about Acceptance Commitment Therapy. The article, titled "Embracing your Demons: an Overview of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy", was by Russell Harris. The article was seven pages long, so it took awhile to read. After reading the article, I am suppose to type up a summary and then send it to him. The article talked about the goal of ACT. Russell Harris defines the therapy as "Consciously bringing awareness to your here-and-now experience with openness, interest and receptiveness". The article then addressed minfulness and how ACT differs from other minfulness-based approaches. It then addressed some other aspects of ACT. Honestly, the article was interesting, but it was very hard to read because there was just too much to read. I know that if I pursue psychology that I will have to get used to a lot of heavy reading. I believe that this article was a very good way for me to see just how much reading I will have to do next year. But in the back of my head, I feel like compared to how much I'll be reading next year, a seven page article will be nothing.

Capstone: Day 24

           In the 24th hour, we watched another VA video. This time, the video was on Session 4, "Values and Actions". Session four focused a lot on goals versus values. Goals are temporary, meaning that they can be reached. On the other hand, values can never be reached. The ACT workbook used the metaphor as moving west. Let's say your goal is to move west and you live in California. You move west to Hawaii and you reached your goal. However, you can still move west and keep moving towards it, making it a value. The session also raised the patient's awareness. In a previous blog entry, I talked about the "Bag of Props". In the video, I saw those props at work. The psychologist told her patient to do the raisin exercise and the exercise with the Chinese handcuffs. In my opinion, it is easier for someone to understand a concept when they are actually engaged with it. Then again, that's just me. It may be different for other people and other patients undergoing ACT. I felt very engaged watching this session. It actually made me reflect on what was really important in my life. Psychology doesn't just apply to certain people. It applies to everybody, directly and indirectly.

Capstone: Day 23

        This hour continued off of the previous hour. My mentor went on talking about dictations, then he started talking about the pros and cons of different offices. By offices, he meant the ones in private practice versus the other ones. He talked about how in a private office, things like getting a report transcribed is all on you. You have to upload it and send it and fax it. In an office like Stanford, all you would have to do is dictate it and the rest will be done for you. That was the main point of this hour, so it pretty much connected to the previous one. When in private practice, you have less people helping you, but you have more freedom to do what you see fit. In other practices, you have more people helping you, but there are certain rules you have to follow. As for me, I don't really know what kind if practice I would want to go into in the future. Each has their good and bad sides, but I guess it all depends on how I like to work. In my opinion, I think it would be better to first work at a non-private office so that you get to learn the ropes and everything. One you have that down, it will be easier to work in private practice because you have more experience. Either way, becoming a psychologist requires a great deal of hardwork, dedication, school, and money. It is expensive, but it will pay off in the long run.

Capstone: Day 22

     A lot was done during this hour. I was able to listen to two dictations. So when my mentor meets with his patients, he writes down notes. After he finishes those notes he dictates it into a recording. He basically sums up everything that happened in the session. He talked about their conditions, progress, medication, etc. Once he finishes the dictation, he uploads it into his computer and sends it to a transcriptionist to type out a full report. By doing this, he is saving about 2-3 hours of him typing it himself. Once the dictation is uploaded and sent, he deletes it and then he shreds his notes. This is because of the whole confidentiality thing. Once he gets the typed report faxed to him, he faxes it out to people like lawyers, insurance companies, and psychiatrists. This is another thing done behind the scenes that people don't really see. To be completely honest, if I do become a psychologist, these are one of the things I will not be looking forward to, but either way, I'll still have to do it. I guess each and every occupation has its ups and downs. Psychologists have to do more than the typical "sit down and listen to people's problems" thing.

Capstone: Day 21

        We watched another ACT video. This one was the third session, I think. I am currently drawing a blank on the theme of the session, but I'm pretty sure it was introducing values to the patient. The psychologist was trying to get the patient to see that there are more important things in life than the pain they are feeling. If all they're worrying about is the pain, they won't be able to experience their life full out. They need to accept the fact that their pain will not go away. All they can do is change their mindset so the pain does not dictate their lives. This can be applied to anybody. If somebody is always focusing on the bad, they'll never see the good. They'll waste their time thinking about how bad things are, that they won't see the good things happening right in front of them. This was something I was able to take away from this hour.

Capstone: Day 20

       Hours 20-25 were all done on Friday, May 3, which is why I was absent from school that day. We started off hour 20 by reviewing the Hexaflex Diagram. I now have a better understanding of it. It was more clear because my mentor used a metaphor to describe. Through this, I realized that it's easier for me to learn something when I am able to relate to it. It turns out that all the different types of therapy have their own theories. It is what distinguishes then from each other and keeps the psychologist and patient consistent with the therapy. The theories that correspond with the therapies make them more effective in the long run. The first hour was more of a catch up hour so it was all mostly review, nothing really new. Either way, it still all seemed very interesting.

Capstone: Day 19

      So on the last hour, we killed two birds w/ one stone. As I said in previous posts, my mentor is doing extra work that involves watching videos of psychologists in San Diego working with post veteran patients. All the patients are undergoing ACT and my mentor has to watch the sessions and evaluate how well the psychologists are adhering to the treatment. As for me, I was able to truly see the Hexaflex diagram at work. When undergoing ACT, the patients focus on certain aspects of the diagram in each session. With each aspect comes a certain title or goal for the session. The hour long session I watched was titled "Options for 'Learning to Live with It'". One point of the Hexaflex diagram was values, and that was what this session focused on. The patient had chronic pain from fighting in the war and was beginning to get depressed. The psychologist was trying to get him to stop focusing on the pain and to start thinking about what was really important (this also links back to mindfulness). There was one point that I found interesting during the session. The psychologist asked , "If you weren't in pain, what would you be doing?" The patient said things like he would be volunteering, spending more time with his family, and going back to school. Just by asking this question, the psychologist was able to figure out his values based on his answers without straight up asking "What are your values?" After that she said, "Well what's stopping you from going to school now?" The patient says, "I'm not that smart." It's not the pain that's stopping him from doing some of the things he wants to do, yet he is quick to blame it on the pain because he is so busy thinking about it. Honestly, there were some moments where I was bored watching the videos, but I got a lot out of it. I find the videos very interesting, but hopefully the next time we watch them, I won't be so drowsy.

Capstone: Day 18

      This is the second hour out of three. In the second hour, my mentor introduce the Hexaflex diagram to me. Psychologists call this diagram the "theory of ACT". The diagram is what sets apart ACT from other types of therapy like CBT. It shows the purpose of ACT and how it is suppose to be carried out. It made a whole lot of sense in its entirety and I was easily able to understand it. However, when it came to chunking it out into two pieces, that's when it started to get a little confusing. It was interesting, but a little bit hard to follow, so I am going to ask my mentor to clarify a little when we meet again. The Hexaflex diagram will surely be something I put into my presentation. He also used examples that related to the diagram to make it seem more relatable.

Capstone: Day 17

       So my mentor and I have not met for the past two weeks because of our conflicting schedules. Last Saturday, we took the time to meet for approximately three hours. Please take note that days 17-19 are all blog posts based on the same day. This post will talk about the first hour out of three. In the beginning we went over our schedules. We tried to figure out how I will be able to finish all my hours by the due date. After that, we picked off from where we left off from the previous session. He had given me an assignment that would raise awareness. For the assignment, I had to slowly eat either the first or the last bite of a meal. The purpose for this was to demonstrate how perspective can be changed by heightening your awareness. He also helped me connect this to my paper. If someone who is abusive improves their awareness, they will better be able to catch themselves when they feel as if they are going to do something abusive. We also talked about how awareness can alter negative thinking into positive thinking. This proves to be very helpful for those going through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This was all very interesting. Not only did I gain a new perspective on awareness, I was able to connect it to my life. I have seen that the more I am aware of something, the higher chance I have of not being so closed minded about the situation. For me this made a lot of sense. It also connects with other people, too. It may sound cheesy, but we always have to be aware of other people's feelings. We don't know what they've gone through and their stories, and we need to be considerate of that.

Capstone: Day 16

          My mentor had this bag that has certain "props" that help patients better understand what he is trying to say. Props in the bag included a tug of war rope, Chinese handcuffs, a box of raisins, and rubber bands. He showed me how he uses these props on his patients and what kind of psychological ideas they are suppose to touch on. For example, the exercise we did with the box of raisins is used to give the patient a sense of awareness. This exercise helps them to appreciate the good and small things in life and to consider how things come to be how they are. My mentor used this exercise to tie into an assignment he gave me. When I went home, I was suppose to "experience" my first bite if dinner. I had to chew it slowly, paying attention to the smell, taste, texture, and the sound it made while I chewed it. For the second part of the assignment, I had to "observe" a homeless person and think about how they got to where they are now. I found the props to be really helpful for patients, especially for those who are more visual learners. It's one thing to hear it, but it's an entirely different thing to actually see it. This hour with my mentor really showed me how creative you can get as a psychologist. Not everything has to necessarily be done by the book. When my mentor and I meet up tomorrow, we will probably reflect on my assignments.

Capstone: Day 15

     My mentor contrasted Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Behavioral Cognitive Therapy (CBT). These two types of therapy are particularly used for patients suffering from chronic pain. The purpose of the two types of therapy is to get the patient to change their behavior so that their pain does not get in the way of them living their lives. While their purpose may be the same, the process by which they are carried out, vary by the therapy. The therapy used depends on the patient. My mentor compared ACT and CBT with 280 and 101. Both freeways get you to San Jose. However, the scenery may be different, the traffic may be more heavy on other, or one might be quicker. Either way, they both go to the same place. He also showed me some exercises that he gets some of his patients to do, which are quite interesting. He also talked about thoughts versus experience. Chronic pain patients let their thoughts overpower their experiences. It not only applies to chronic pain patients, but to us as well- We just don't realize it.

Capstone: Day 14

     When I met with my mentor today, we talked about how we're going to schedule our meetings so that I will finish my hours by April 30th. It will be more difficult because our schedules are starting to be more conflicting. However, I'm looking on the brighter side. I might also meet up with his secretary more often to get in more hours, but I'll see because of, again, conflicting schedules. This meeting was more of a catch up session. We talked about the project, including the research paper and what else is to come in regards to what else to come. We also reflected on the meeting I had with his secretary. I compared and contrasted her views on the psychological field with his perspective.

Capstone: Day 13

      My mentor will be out of town this week, so I met with his assistant/secretary today. She goes to his office once a week to do all the clerical and administrative work. The purpose of the session was for me to be exposed to the whole filing aspect when it comes to psychology. My mentor has drawer fulls of files of his patients, and I thought that was a lot. It turns out that there are other practices filled with walls of patient files. While I was there, we also talked about the different types of psychologists. This touched more on my future and what I would consider doing if I were to pursue a PhD in psychology. Reflecting back on that conversation, if I were to really pursue that goal, I would want to a be psychologist who either works with children with mental retardation, hard core criminals,  or the mentally insane. This connects back to another conversation we had where we talked about how everything depends on the person and what they view to be interesting, which is how psychologists choose their field. Either way, the best psychologists are those who are able to develop a strong mentality because they are exposed to different, mind altering circumstances every single day.

Capstone: Day 12

      I learned about a certain therapy called ACT. This stands for "Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. It is a therapy designed for those dealing with chronic pain. I learned how this connects to the "Relational Frame Theory". The theory is like math. If A=B and B=C, we can conclude that A=C. However, instead of using these variables to represent numbers, they represent thoughts and actions in the world of psychology. We connected this to my paper on domestic violence. If A is the physical pain when experiencing domestic violence, and B is the emotional pain, C would be the emotional pain someone gets when they hear or experience something that reminds them of the violence. This theory can be proven true in things like post traumatic stress disorder, and in everyday lives. This theory can be better understood through a verbal and visual explanation, but that doesn't seem possible at the moment. This may be something I will talk about during my presentation at the end of the year. In general, I found the theory to be very interesting, especially since it's true. The explanation my mentor gave me was the watered down version. There has been books written about this one theory. He also gave me an assignment so that I can fully experience the "Relational Frame Theory" taking its course. Just to set the record straight, the assignment is related to doing something, not experiencing domestic violence.

Capstone: Day 11

       My mentor and I calculated how many hours I have completed and we planned out how I will complete all my hours by the deadline. According to my mentor, I have completed 11 hours, not 10. Therefore, the entry today shall be a fill-in for the hour I did not realize to blog about along the way. It will be reflection of my experiences thus far. Being a psychologist all depends on what you make of it. To some people, it can be the most boring thing ever, while to others, it may be the most rewarding thing. Bottom line is: if you want to be a good psychologist, you have to love what you do.  There is more to the psychology profession that meets the eye. It's not like the stereotype people see in movies. They do more than sit on a chair asking "And how do you feel about that?" Their patients are like fingerprints. They're all different. They're all the same in a sense that they go to see therapists for mental and emotional reasons. However, they all have different stories and backgrounds. There is a certain connection that the therapist and psychologist share. Being a psychologist is more than making money. It gives people a chance to make a differences in other people's lives by simply just being there for them. Having someone who listens makes a huge difference.

Capstone: Day 10

    What really stood out to me about today's session was our conversation on good and bad psychologists. I was wondering what can possibly make a bad psychologist, and he was able to answer my question. There are psychologists out there who have inappropriate relationships with their patients. Some take advantage of their patients and some even make their patients feel even worse about themselves. There are also some who fall asleep on their patients. I learned that if you go on the California Board of Psychology website, you can see every registered psychologist in California. You can see "reviews" on them. It's almost like a yelp for psychologists. There are some who have even gotten their licenses suspended. This conversation taught me how important it is to do your job, and to do your job well. People can see if you really love what your doing, versus just doing it to do it. It was actually a good learning lesson.

Capstone: Day 9

   Today we reflected on the patient from last week. We talked about the questionnaires he did. The questionnaires were based on his conditions, and they can vary from person to person. They help the psychologist gain more insight on the patient's feelings on their conditions. It helps them determine the type of therapy they need and how they should carry it out as their psychologist. I also learned the purpose of having ink blog tests. They are similar to standardized tests. Instead of measuring what you have learned, they measure mentality. There are 12 ink blots in total and they are carried out in the exact same way all around the country. After that we talked about videos that he had to evaluate. He is getting paid to evaluate psychological therapy in the Veterans Aid clinic. As he watches each video, he has to evaluate it to make sure that it is following the guidelines of the chronic pain therapy. While I was there I watched one video, and I was able to put in my input in what I saw. I was able to verbally evaluate the therapist and what I thought of the therapy.

Capstone: Day 8

        This is a continuation of day 7. On the second hour that I met with my mentor that day, I sat through another evaluation. This patient was there with the help of workers' compensation. He had been injured on the job a couple years ago, and up until today, he is still living with the issue. He injured his left arm and feels pain in the majority of his torso 24/7. Because of it, he can no longer work. He can't even do things he used to enjoy doing, such as camping and hiking. The patient was very open, which I didn't expect because he didn't look like the type of guy who liked to talk about his emotions. Towards the end, he started talking about how it was nice to actually talk to someone and have someone actually listen. He felt like my mentor actually cared, rather than being like the doctors who to him say, "Here's the medicine, see you next week". This really made me see why therapists and psychologists are important to have. They are there for people to talk to when they need someone to listen to them. They keep people from doing things that they shouldn't do. After he left, my mentor asked me to give my impressions on the patient as if I was the psychologist. The point of it was to see how my own personal thinking and my analyzations work.

Capstone: Day 7

       For today's blog, days 7 and 8 were done in one day. For the first part of the session we talked about the politics in the Psychology profession. We connected this to workers' compensation. To me the politics are smart concerning the bottom line, but at the same time, it can be morally wrong. Because of workers' compensation, treatment is paid for if a worker is injured during a job. Some people are denied the mental health they need because workers' compensation doesn't want to pay for it. There are some people who are severely hurt on duty and they can no longer work because the injury has deemed it to be physically impossible. This is turn connects to how the worker feels. Some get severely depressed, and workers' compensation pays for the psychological services. When the psychologist feels like the patient needs more help than what they can offer, they request workers' compensation to pay for psychiatric help to prevent the patient from committing suicide. Unfortunately, there are many times where workers' compensation choose to deny those services because they don't want to spend the money. This seems unfair to the people that really need help.

Capstone: Day 6

     This is a continuation of "Day 5" since I spent 2 hours with my mentor rather than 1. After he talked to me about the importance of making the patient as comfortable as possible, the patient arrived. She had been referred to him by a hospital, which is how psychologists get some of their patients. She was there for her evaluation. The evaluation is basically the very first meeting the psychologists have with their patients. I sat next to my mentor while she sat on the other side of the room. It was like they were in a fishbowl and I was observing from the outside. The woman that came in had a chronic illness, which makes her arms and her legs burn up. It rises her blood temperature, and the illness makes the person feel like they're literally burning. During the evaluation, my mentor asked her how her illness has impacted her life. Due to confidentially, I am unable to say more. What I can say is that she was very inspirational. Even through her personal health problems, she has been able to get through her life. It has helped her developed so much strength and positivity that people take for granted. This session with my mentor really got me more interested in the psychology field. It is really something I see myself doing in the future. I hope to sit through my evaluations in future sessions.

Capstone: Day 5

          My mentor was getting ready to meet with a patient today. He explained to me how to prepare the paperwork and the questions, and the whole process of preparing for an appointment. Since I was actually going to be sitting in on one, he also explained to me the importance of confidentiality. Psychologists can actually get in legal and ethical trouble if they let out anything that was confidential. In the meantime, while we were waiting for the patient, we talked a lot about the things that happen behind the scenes. This included typing up reports, sending bills, paying bills, and creating a comfortable environment for the patient. It turns out that the environment plays a huge role for the patient. The lighting, temperature, the scent, and the furniture all matter. They can determine whether or not the patient wants you to be their psychologist or not. The relationship with the patient and the psychologist is very important. The better the relationship, the more the patient will get out of the sessions. 

Capstone: Day 4

       Today, I had to attempt to be a patient suffering from depression. I had to change my name and make up stories to fit into the character. It was basically a mock evaluation. He was the therapist, and of course I was the patient. The session today portrayed how psychologists normally evaluate their patients. They start right when the patient walks into the door. They have to make sure that the lighting, the room temperature, and even the furniture arrangement makes the patient feel comfortable. After that, they talk a little about themselves and go over the consent forms and payments and confidentiality agreements. When they are finished with that, they officially start with the evaluation. They ask questions that pertain to how the patient thinks and reacts to certain things. Some examples of the questions were:
          -Describe an average day.
          -What things do you do that make you happy?
          -What type of factors make you think negatively?
          -Describe your relationship with your family and friends.
         Questions like these will help them draw conclusions. It was good for me to see what psychologists do from the perspective of the patient. It will really connect to my next session when I will hopefully be able to shadow my mentor actually performing an evaluation on a real patient.

Capstone: Day 3

       Yesterday, I went to my mentor later than I should have since I had difficulties commuting there. Turns out, my situation actually helped the session. We were able to use my situation as an example of why people behave the way they act. This got us into the conversation about behavior. There are two things that dictate behavior: enforcers and punishers. In addition to those two factors, there are principles that deal with behavior. People usually think that people's thoughts dictate what they do. Today I learned that that assumption is not entirely true. Just because someone has a thought, it doesn't mean that they will necessarily act upon it. There is always an underlying reason of why people do the way they do, even if they know that they shouldn't be doing it.

Capstone: Day 2

           I met up with my mentor yesterday. It was the second meeting, so we picked up where we left off on the first one. I was able to asked him more Psychology based questions. I was even able to get a watered down lesson on why people ten to go insane. He also introduced me to the "Psychologist's Holy Grail". It was a big book of all the mental disorders. It described each one, including its symptoms and how to treat it. I was also able to ask him what the difference between a therapist, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist was. It turns out that a therapist works in a specific field, whereas the other two specialize in all the different aspects. Unlike psychologists, however, psychiatrists go through medical school, rather than graduate school. At the end of the meeting, we discussed meeting twice a week, instead of once a week. That way, I can finish my hours at a quicker pace.

Capstone: Day 1

            Today was the first meeting I had with my mentor. He was originally suppose to give me an overview of what he does. Instead, I took the opportunity to ask him questions that had to do with the Psychology field. He told me how working in a private practice was different from working in a hospital or a therapy facility. I also learned how the amount of education you get affects what you can  do in the Psychology. For example, someone who has a Masters versus a PsyD or a PhD cannot do therapy work in the state of California. He also gave me insight on how to actually become a Psychologist and I learned that it takes a lot of time and dedication. However, I did forget to ask what was the difference between a Therapist, a Psychologist, and a Psychiatrist, so I'll probably ask on our next meeting. We also talked more about the Capstone Project and I told him about the research paper. At the end of the hour, he gave me two assignments. For the first assignment, I have to do research on the "Psychological Effects of Domestic Abuse". That assignment would really help for the paper. As for the second assignment, I need to write a short paragraph talking about what I hope to gain from the 25 hours.